Don't frown now dearest. I was never much for human companionship. I never got along with my family. I was always hiding from them. I knew I was the origin of all horrible things that happened from a very young age. It was why I ran away. And even though the problems didn't stop I thought to myself that I needed to get further away. I was too close. How about a city away? States away? Across the ocean?
No- even that far I still manage to hurt the few people I care about. They are all convinced I hate them. Let them think I hate them. Let them think I am heartless. The truth that even I hate admitting to myself is that I care so much it kills me inside. I place all the blame on me. I make you think I am the source of all evil and you too place this blame on me. I will make you hate me. I will make you want to be far away from me.
I am convinced I could never make anyone happy. I have never been anyone's everything. I have never had to take direct care of another person.
I told her I would always love her.
I told her to never think that I didn't.
I married because of her
I got this home for her and I t
ried to bring everything she cared about with her.
I am still sorry I couldn't get Emi or Lupe or the other bunny or Sunny or the turtle or the lizards.
I told her what wasn't okay.
I told her that- she should never forget that mom always puts God first.
I probably push everyone away because I want to be alone forever and ever. I hate people.
