_________

I was really sad for a long time.

I'm still sad- but I have you two again. I am so lucky mama had more kids after me. You both make me laugh like I haven't in years. You make me feel loved even after mama left us. I was so sad because no one loved me. I was all alone. I had no one to talk to or make me laugh.

You guys are asking me to come back home to you two. I think I will. I think I will just pack up my life in a small box and leave everything behind. I know this would make our mom happy- us being together forever, but I am doing this for me. I am doing this because I want to be around the people who love me and miss me. 

Ah my heart is beating so fast. I am scared of what I am about to type. I will try my hardest to leave the old me here. The one who has seen death and blood with her eyes. I want to shed her away like an old skin and start a new one. You, him, me, the dog, and the baby. There are others who miss me and love me too but you are the only ones I care about. 

The youngest I cannot reach- the youngest I am afraid will not remember me.