My best friend

 I love you

I love you so much

And it hurts it hurts so bad

I love you little Monkey 

After 15 years together I keep begging in my head. Just one more day, month year. 

I did everything I could to make sure you were happy and healthy. Your tests always came back perfect every year and the vets would be amazed at how healthy you were.

But I'm watching you spin in circles nonstop and I know your mind isn't what it used to be. And I imagine you are in a lot of pain.

I don't want to lose you. You have been here for half of my whole life so far. It feels impossible- you not being here.

I can't write anymore it's too hard. 

What I can't say out loud.

 I cried when I talked about you. About how much of a burden I was and how I felt like a child. Sitting there as you de-tangled hair. I can't even take care of myself.

 

I'm sorry for being a burden.