_________

My roommate has a parade of men coming in and out of her bedroom late at night. I can hear them through the door and the walls. I don't really think much about it. I just think about her little girl who is almost two sleeping in the crib right there in the room with them.

I think about how unhappy she is- the mother not the daughter. I think about how all these men who come for 'movies' or 'hanging out' forget to bring the DVD's or just have alcohol with them.

And how she always describes them as' been friends forever'. But they are always gone by late morning as she ushers them away so her daughter will not meet them face to face. How many friends does she have exactly? Where does she find these men who do not want love? Who never come back?

I guess I should count myself fortunate- the people who held me at night were there in the day. They loved me. I was special.

I hope to leave this place soon. I hope more than anything I never have to see her or her daughter again.

_________

Something old from me to my sister back in April 2012:

Man, I have done things even people deployed over here would be jealous of.

I have heard the sound of bullets whizzing past my head as I ducked for cover.

I have watched rockets fly over my head and land not too far off as the earth explodes from impact.

I have slept in the southern deserts of afghanistan in the cold with the sky covered in a million stars as my cover in full kit and in fear of being attacked at night.

I have talked to people I would have never dreamed in a million years I would meet.

But most awesome of all- the lizards in the desert I mentioned earlier? They will crawl all over you. AND they drank water out my my hand. SUPER CUTE.

I have not been on the internet in days. I am sorry for this but whenever someone dies we go into a internet 'blackout' so that the army can inform the family that someone has died before everyone starts posting it on FB like idiots.

I am well, a little sore right now but well. I hope you mail me things soon because it takes 2-4 weeks for a package to get here and 4+ weeks for a letter to get here.

I already got my first award badge thingy for being in combat, pretty legit yo.