_______

I've done everything I've needed to succeed. 

All the steps are laid out before me perfectly. Now all I have to do is take them one by one. In a few months I'll move again. Once again I'll be able to start over fresh.

Maybe then I can toss aside this temptress I've created.

I've tried so hard to detach myself from her. I've avoided all the fools I've wooed, tried to mend things with the one I did care about.

Oh my shining star the day is coming soon!

Soon I'll be far away from you and won't be able to see you shine from my new place. Will you find someone new? Or will you stay true for me and only me? Sometimes I feel so silly, I've made this web just for you to stay in and yet you were no fool like the others. You knew what it was and stood there anyway no matter how uncomfortable it was for you to watch me work my magic. Well shining star your sly temptress is starting anew. I just need one more class and I can quit my job. Quit and go full time at a real four year university working on my bachelors.

How exciting!

Fall is coming soon.

And after that is a very cold winter.  

_________

It'd be to awkward to make any reference to the last blog. It was written for a reader that I enjoyed talking to on late nights over the phone. Mr. New York, I hope you enjoyed your blog. The answer to your question is there and I hope it helps you better understand this silly pineapple.mango.

On a side note:

This blog will come to a close soon. I don't know when so I can't predict how many more blogs I'll write but I have a feeling it's going to be within this year. After about three years I think now would be a good time to end. Reading back I can't help but be fond of this girl, she started out worrying about her family to being thrust out into society and being corrupted so quickly. Watching the changes unfold was a rare pleasure.

What'll happen to the girl? I wonder.

Don't think I'll stop blogging though. A new chapter will unfold soon.

As for now? I am a lover of two. I feel as if I belong to neither.

[You hide in the shadows and love me dearly. I feel as if I'm the most precious thing in the world when I'm with you. It's a new exciting feeling. Never before have I felt so treasured.]

Neither man is on my mind right now.

What I'm thinking about now is one I haven't met yet. I have standards you know. I want an accomplished, intelligent, no nonsense kind of guy. I've never met one though. All I run into are silly boys who fall in love so easily. They haven't done anything and I'm left with a feeling of wanting. I don't want to fall in love. I'm so tired of being in love.

There's something I craze more than that. More than the feeling of being accepted. Sometimes I think I did become that cruel cold woman with the red lips.

Surely there's a way to escape myself. Surely I can find a way to reverse the process and go back to the way I used to be.

One day I'll marry you, you know. There's no escaping fate. When I said I would spend the rest of my life with you I was not joking. I am not a liar.

But if you fail to meet my requirements I will toss you aside like a rag doll. Never has my heart been broken. But let me tell you darling, I'm no stranger to ripping others into two.