________

I am good at what I do. You see dearest- I've had a lifetime of practice. This is my trade after all. I know all the ins and outs. 

So when you tell me what I've been waiting to hear since the first day. I'm relieved. Things are going exactly the way they're suppose to. No exceptions are allowed- you see? Not even you are an exception. You are not special. No one is. 

The real question is- when to strike? Should I do it now? It will certainly spare me pain. Oh- but I was always a gluten for punishment. Seems I can never have enough of it.

Do I need a second bow ring? 

Heh- no.  

It would be stupid to repeat the same mistakes. We are a temptress. We do not fall in love my dearest. Stop weeping. Hold your chin up. Happiness? Oh silly dearest- I sell the cheap imitation all the time. What did I tell you all those years ago? You couldn't take this mask off even if you tried. You cannot rid yourself of me. I am your reigning queen.

Let's have some fun!

Oh stop it with your sadness. Do you think I care? We will keep them around for fun. You love fun don't you?

Now there. That's much better!

 

__________

No one liked your scarf. Do you remember that pink scarf you wore? G said it looked so fucking gay and wouldn't stop laughing. Everyone did actually. I thought it was nice. You stood out, it wasn't just the scarf- your demeanor, your excited outbursts, that giant pack on your back. What on earth did you have in there Kunchinai?

Do you remember a couple days in? Do you remember giving me a piece of the bread from you pack? It was the most delicious thing I ate that entire patrol. Nothing has tasted so sweet since then. I shared it with so many other guys on our patrol Kunchinai. Everyone loved it. I was so happy- it made you happy just seeing me happy. I miss you Kunchinai.

That one time we were so tired. Do you remember the day before you died? We were sitting on a small dirt mound so exhausted. I poured water down your pack to cool you and you yelped in surprised. Everyone laughed Kunchinai. It was a good day to be us. Or so we thought.

Do you remember asking to trade weapons teasingly? Or showing me your rounds? Do you remember giving me your ring?

I still have it. I wear it all the damn time. I talk to it like it's you and ask how excited you are to be in the states.

What a short live friendship we had. There are so many other memories I have of you but these are the ones that stand out the most to me.

Today the ground scares me Kunchinai....I'm afraid everywhere I step will explode.