_________

So lots of things happen in very short periods of time:

A puppy followed me on a walk home. (I was so tempted to keep it!)

I tore up the front yard. (I'm remodling it!)

I finally finished unpacking.

I work way too much. ;_;

I play so much Left 4 Dead my head hurts.

I went grocery shopping by myself for me for the first time.

I think I lost my Dsi. ;_;

My mom texts me sometimes to tell me she misses me. I read them and put the phone back down but never respond. I think it bothers her that I don't really keep close contact. When I get text messages saying that it's been awhile since I visited, I stop by. (maybe)

Sometimes I feel bad that I'm happier now. My boyfriend tells me he sees a difference in my atittude and it pleases him that I finally have some distance from what was formally suffocating me.

I like being on my own. Now that I got what I've been dreaming of since a child I can start focusing on bigger things and sorting out my priorities. I have a lot of tough challenges ahead of me, but I'm sure I can handle it.

First thing's first though, I need to completely be stable first. I still feel kinda wobbly on my feet and dizzy with this new found freedom I have now. I feel like a newborn colt trying to walk for the firs time.

I hate trying to answer the big questions in life. I hate having to make decisions. It's something I have a huge difficulty with because I'm so indecisive. And the reason is because I think too much. What if the choices I make are the wrong ones? I'm carefully treading forward weighing each decision so that it doesn't bring me down in the future.

Like, what do I want out of my future?

Where do I see myself heading from now? Surely not WalMart. I'm an ambitious girl who wants bigger things from life, and yet I don't know where I want to go with it. I'm twenty years old and I still can't answer the question people get when they're in kindergarden:

What do you want to be when you grow up?