_________

" We had many families over time. Our family of origin, the family we created, and the groups you moved through while all of this was happening: friends, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them perfect, and we couldn't expect them to be. You can't make any one person your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build your world from it."

Do you think that was my mistake? That I made you my everything? That I was just so focused on the one person that mattered most to me that you and I both forgot I was something of value? That I was actually important to lots of people and lots of people were important to me? I don't think of myself as broken anymore.

I met someone who didn't even realized that in two months they would impact my life so dramatically. This is how the conversation went- and they don't even know my past or anything about me. All they thought at the end of the conversation is that I was a person wiser beyond my time.

"So you think you're a bad person?'

"Not bad- just not completely functional"

"I don't think I'm the best person either- but I think when you say broken you mean so much more than just these damn missions"

"Well- yeah actually I do."

"In what way are you broken?"

"I just am- but it was people in my life that made me this way"

"....I'm sorry to hear that"

And at this moment I thought to myself that he shouldn't be sorry for me. That I wasn't feeling sorry for myself anymore.

"Well actually it's not so bad."

"How so?'

"Well it's like an old car. When you turn on the radio the air conditioning doesn't work. So you have to choose whether or not you want to listen to music or feel cool air. Other people would think it's broken and trade it in or try to fix it. But me- it's just a fact of life, another beautiful imperefection that makes the car so unique. In fact there isn't anything really wrong with the car at all."

"I like that- I never thought about looking at it that way."

"You know what? Me either."