________

I knew it was happening. Your hair was so brittle. I remember reaching out and touching it. I remember looking at it- frowning. "MOM your hair is so BAD!"

I knew it but I didn't understand it. Not my mom. Not my small family I swore to protect. NEVER.

I remember looking at dyes with Erika- we picked a nice one. I don't think you ever actually dyed it though.

I remember arriving. I remember coming upstairs and laying next to you on the bed telling you how stupid I thought you were but I was too tired from driving all night to be properly mad at you. I cuddled up next to you.

You know I loved you more than any one else didn't you? Who else would I drive that distance for? Who else would I drop everything for? Only you mama. Only you.

I'm so mad at you for leaving me all alone. I cant stop crying. You should have stayed or taken me with me you. I hate you so much.